Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Villafranca a Portomarin

Day 3. Just when you think you have things figured out and you´re good to go...

God holds you close...

Today, we woke up to grey skies, ominous clouds, but dry weather, for the moment. I had to decide whether to take the easier route today (with a van transfer to the top of the first peak) or to give it a go and try for the whole 100km.

Those of you who know me don´t need me to tell you that I opted to go for it. I love to push myself physically, and I love any opportunity to be on a bike. Therefore, I hopped (ok, stumbled) out of bed two hours earlier than the majority of the group, and with two companions, set out for the first of the two peaks. O Cebreiro.

Sometimes what you want, is not what is best for you or your community...
And God held me close...

I knew after about 10 minutes on the road that I should have chosen differently. My bad hamstring was screaming from the get-go, but I refused to listen to it too closely. I knew it was 35km to the top of the first peak. No problem. Just breathe and enjoy the scenery...let your mind wander away from the pain of it. Sadly, I thought the first 35km to the top of O Cebreiero was supposed to be the "easy part¨of the day´s climbing. As we came to a crossroads, my guide asked if I wanted to wait for the van, or if I was going to try to make it to the top. You know my answer, I´m sure. I´ve never been one to stop in the middle of something, especially if I´m on my bike. So off we went.

And God smiled...and held me close...

The ascent to the summit of O Cebreiro, as it turns out, is THE most difficult climb of the entire Camino. With each turn, my guide (Catherine) eased me along with, ¨This is the hardest part. After this short part, it eases up.¨

She lied.

The steepest part of the climb was about 18% grade...way steep! If my leg hadn´t already been screaming, I´m sure it would have started screaming shortly after we began the climb. The good news, however, is that the weather held. No rain (hooray!), just a deep deep fog as we climbed higher and higher into the upper regions of the Galecian mountains. At each bend in the road, Catherine was there with words of encouragement. At one point the van came along to offer me a ride to the top. My stubborn persistence had already kicked in. (I´m told that I basically sneered at the van and kept winding my way up the road. I later apologized for the impoliteness, and we all laughed). For about 15km I wound my way up the hill, trying to remember the lessons of yesterday -- be grateful...pant, pant, pant...called to serve...serve what? how? this mountain is really steep!...pant, pant, pant...look at that beautiful mountainside town...pant, pant, pant...where IS the top?...breathe breathe breathe...oh look, there´s the top, YES!...where is everyone...they are meeting us at the top...uh-oh...

"It´s just a short bit further...you´ve done the hardest part," said Catherine.
She lied, lied, lied. I should have qualified the "short bit further" piece of that statement.

...pant, pant, pant...oh my gosh, are you KIDDING me?...that´s not the top?...breathe breathe breathe...remember how beautiful everything is...yep...beautiful, at least for three feet in front of me...this cloud is REALLY thick...where is the top?...pant, pant, pant...you can do it...you´re not alone...you´re not alone...you´re not alone...

Then, all of sudden, I rounded the corner, and there it was. O Cebreiro!!! This tiny little mountaintop village of Celtic descent. I laid my bike against the building, greeted my fellow tour groupers (who had ridden in the van), and my climbing companions, and then walked to the village church and cried.

I´m not exactly sure if the tears were tears of anger or victory or relief. I just needed to cry. My leg throbbing, my body quickly chilling (it was REALLY cold at the top), and my emotions soaring in every direction. I was thrilled to have made it to the top -- quite an accomplishment! I was frustrated that my leg was hurting so badly, which meant I had to decide whether or not to be done for the day. And I was absolutely certain that I could not have made that climb on my own -- I was most definitely not alone as I journeyed to the top.

As I sat beneath the portico of the church and pondered what to do next, I was reminded that sometimes what I want is not what is best for me...or for the community. I had to make a choice I did not want to make. Finish the ride today, and hope that my leg would be okay for the next two days...or ride in the van for the rest of the day, rest the leg, and be confident that the leg would be okay for the last two days of the ride to Santiago. The cloudy weather was definitely mirroring the cloudiness of my thoughts.

Now, I like cake...and I like to eat it, too. I wanted both -- to finish the day´s ride, and be okay to ride the final two days into Santiago. I was really struggling with the decision. Just as I was about to commit to ride the rest of the day on the bike, one of the other group members, Vicki, came up to me and asked how I (and my leg) was feeling. As I told her of my struggle to decide whether or not to ride the rest of the day, she said, "If you aren´t going to ride the rest of the day, may I use your jacket? Otherwise, I won´t be able to ride because I will be too cold."

Sometimes what you want, is not always what is best for you...or the community...

It´s funny how it´s so much easier for me to accept a different plan for my life once I know how that decision can affect someone else. I immediately recognized that Vicky was a little angel helping me accept a new plan, a different call, for my day. I knew, at that point, that my day´s ride was ending at the top of that mountain. O Cebreiro. Oooooh Cebreiro. I may have a strong love-hate relationship with that mountain for some time. However, I found peace of mind amidst that cloudy, cold mountaintop. I was boldly reminded that it´s okay to change your plans midway through them. It´s okay to say "no" to something you really really want, especially when your "no" will be better for you, and the people around you. By saying "no" to finishing the day's ride, Vicki (who really wanted to ride) was able to say "yes" to the ride.

Sometimes what you THINK you want, is not always what you need, or what the community needs...

As I rode the rest of the day in the van, it became my opportunity to be the cheerleader for the others in the group. For my O Cebreiro companions, it was to be their very first metric century ride. And Vicki? She had been struggling with a back injury the previous days and just wanted one day when she could finish "the whole ride" (not including the extra 35km of O Cebreiro ...which was not, technically, part of the day´s ride).

So for the rest of the day, I was water-and-snack gal, photographer, and LEAD cheerleader. I whooped and hollered as the van passed by the riders. At water stops, I tried to give words of encouragement as well as food and water. For Heidi and Jeff, as they tired toward the end, I kept reminding them that they had already made i t up O Cebreiro...everything else was easy from there!

For Vicky, I offered words of encouragement, hoping to help her over the mental hump of the "I can´ts" and encouraged her to know that she could totally make it, if that is what she chose to do. Her legs were strong, her heart was in it, she just had to convince her mind to get out of her way and let her ride.

I waited in Portomarin with great anticipation for riders to appear. I watched the long bridge that served as the gateway into town, hoping to see them soar into town after a fantastic 5km descent (I was so jealous of that downhill!). In the end, we celebrated Heidi and Jeff´s monumental 100km ride, which included the foreboding O Cebreiro. We also celebrated, unceasingly, Vicki´s completion of the 65km. After that, she felt like she could do anything. No more riding in the van for her...those days were over.

As for me? I´m still a bit saddened by the fact that I couldn´t ride with the rest of the group. However, I am reminded that sometimes what you want, is not always best for you...or the community. Today, I was called to be support crew, despite the fact that I thought I was going to be a rider. With the help of those around me, and "powers that be," I´m happy that I was able to find peace at the top of O Cebreiro. Someday, I´ll go back to that mountaintop. Hopefully the clouds will not still be there, and I will be able to recognize more quickly and with greater ease the decisions that I face.

Today, I was called to see the beauty around me, appreciate it, recognize the angels around me, struggle with my own desires, and in the end accept that sometimes things don´t go as I plan...and that´s okay. In the end, its about an openness to listen and accept where God is calling you to be in each moment. Today, I was called to be the support crew. Who knows where or to what I ´ll be called tomorrow?

Sometimes what we want is not what´s best for us...or the community...
I guess the lesson for today is to be open to where God is calling you to be, regardless of what you THINK you´re supposed to be doing in that moment. That´s a tough one.

Admittedly, I´m hoping I´ll be called to ride my bike along the Camino tomorrow...AND I´m open to being wherever the spirit needs me to be.

May your hearts be open to wherever (and whatever) the spirit calls you.
Buen Camino!

Miss Hoch

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